Please give yourself a break. Please forgive yourself.
The first step, no matter what has happened, is to be at peace with the truth that we are all trying our best in a world that no one has figured out. No one came in with all the answers.
You are allowed to fail. You are allowed to hurt. You are even allowed to let go. I promise you, it is not the same as giving up. You are allowed to put yourself first. That is what letting go feels like.
Soften your heart.
Look tenderly at the battles you have fought. Even though you lost, it still matters that you fought. There is something to learn from trying, there is nothing to learn from doing nothing.
Everything that’s happened is not all there is to your existence. Breathe. Slow down and look back at a time when you were happier.
Do you see it?
If you could be happy then, then you can be happy again. Maybe, not now, but you can definitely work towards it. One day at a time, one breath at a time. Even when everything is pointing towards being stuck, you are not caught up in an endless web. You are passing through.
Nothing, not even your pain, is permanent.
Everything about life is designed to change. If no one can guarantee you that you will always be happy, then no one can guarantee you that you will always be sad. Life cuts both ways.
You decide which side you want to fight for.
Suffering isn’t a portrait, it’s a moving picture. Eventually, everything passes. Everything! Your job is to hang on long enough for the storm to pass. To bet on yourself because it is no one else’s job.
You are complete.
Bet that you are enough. That your flaws are a part of a larger whole. They don’t take away from who you are and neither do they define you. They are an extension.
A guidebook for the battles you will learn to loose. We don’t get to win them all, but learning is a choice left entirely up to you. Find the grace to accept the things you can’t change, that’s the hard part for everyone.
Know the difference between facts and stories.
That you are struggling to find yourself may be a fact. That you have no purpose is a story you have created. Look closely at the distinction. The former is true, the latter is all you. Make it a purpose to find yourself. Being in a tough situation is not the same as having no choice.
One is a fact, the other is a story.
You are still the author. Your life isn’t a finished book and neither is it written by fate. Fate is an illusion you and I use to explain the things we wished were in our control. It’s time we stopped wishing and started writing.
The writing is not on the wall.
The empty pages in your book are inked by your choices and your actions. So take risks, fall forward and go again. Take a step back. Recoup. Take it easy. Recharge. Whatever time you have left on this earth, don’t spend it believing that there is no winning. There is. Be sober in your expectations, but be relentless in your optimism.
Don’t forget that you are trying your best. It is really important that you are always the first person to give yourself a break. That’s where it starts.
Empathy will never be of use unless it starts from within you.