The Dragon Tamer

I have lived with a dragon inside me for most of my adult life. His name is fear. I trust him to protect me from anything that threatens me, but for the most part, he has been the reason behind some of my worst self inflicted wounds.

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A Right To live

I have always had an interesting relationship with mistakes. A lot of the good things that have happened in my life have been a byproduct of my mistakes. The same can be said about the bad things. Sometimes I’ll picture my life without the mistakes I’ve made and genuinely wonder how I would have turned out.

Would I still be a patient husband if my problems with anger management had not cost me so dearly at work? It was only after I realised a problem with my professional life that I made a change in my personal life.

Would I still be so loyal to my best friend, if I hadn’t come so close to loosing him? We’d still be great friends, but I don’t know if we’d be as intentional about it.

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Sorry, Not Sorry

On a recent visit, a friend made a comment about me that shook the core of my insecurities. She did not mean to harm me and I know she never would. She has probably even forgotten that she said it by now. She didn’t use a particular tone or even say it with any malice. It was a passing comment in a very chill environment. I don’t even think she was looking at me when she said it. She just said…

“You apologise a lot!”

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Don’t Forget Your Glasses!

The first time I ever put on a pair of glasses, it felt divine. Unearthly. There was a new spark to how I saw everything around me. Letters had a sharper edge to them. Textures were suddenly boisterous. Colours had a bit of swagger to them. The corners of my eyes came alive with the finest of detail. Even my lazy eye awoke from its coma. It was as if I was seeing everything for the first time, because nothing up until that point had been real.

This was my first ever reality check.

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People Are Not Things

I stood between my father and my mother. He was seething, she was screaming and I was terrified.

My father towered over everyone. If, by chance, you happened to be taller than him, then he would still be louder than you. I never saw anyone stand up to him until I did it myself. At 14, he could still wipe me off the face of the earth with one flick of his pinkie. So when he clenched his fist to strike my mother, I don’t know where I got the audacity to say “If you touch her, I’ll kill you.”

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Dear Parents…

Thank you for everything.

Sincerely.

Thank you for everything you provided that we took for granted. Now that we are having to pay for the roofs over our heads, we realise that it was a privilege to live under yours’. Not a right.

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Put Down Your Weapons

We attract what we put out.

I am not talking about the faith we put in the idea that good things happen to those who wish. No, I am talking about the message we communicate to the world around us. To our relationships. To the people who seem to continuously hurt us.

I am talking about our boundaries.

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Be Gentle On Yourself

Please give yourself a break. Please forgive yourself.

The first step, no matter what has happened, is to be at peace with the truth that we are all trying our best in a world that no one has figured out. No one came in with all the answers.

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The Last Lap

I lost a foster mother, a father and a dear aunt in the space of a year. I begun putting myself back together the day I moved into the apartment I now call home. It became my safe house. It gave me refuge at a time when I was falling apart. It represented much more than four walls. It was a sanctuary for starting again, piece by piece. A small space that taught me to appreciate the things I need. A gift to a wife who had never left my side. The first streak of light that gives you hope of a brighter day. The dawn that followed the darkest night of my life.

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